Breaking Even

Plenty Of Fish: Works For Me

You may remember a while back, I interviewed my friend D. who had jumped into online dating. Using both paid and unpaid services, she was getting dates and meeting people. I've been watching from the sidelines, admiring her courage but myself a little hesitant.

It could be that spring is in the air but I thought I'd finally give online dating yet another shot.

I wrote my online profile on PlentyOfFish, uploaded a photo, and waited. (As a side note, turn off the photo rating option on your profile if your self-esteem is at all shaky. People apparently expect a lot these days!)

The initial response was lukewarm. I got two e-mails, one asking if I design websites (aww, using me already?) and one simply saying "yer cute" and that's it. Not quite what I was hoping for.

I looked at my profile again a week or so later with a more critical eye and realized that while I sounded really nice, I also sounded kind of boring. I tapped into my slightly wacky side and rewrote. I then got 7 responses in 24 hours. Plenty of fish indeed!

A few dates into my great social experiment, I met a nice young man that I am now dating. For the moment we'll call him John, since that is his name and he's ok with me using it.

A few words of caution from my most recent stint in the trenches:

1) There are some weird people out there, on free and paid services. While most correspondence has been nice (if gramatically incorrect), I got an email that would make most men apologize for their entire gender about two weeks ago. (It was quite graphic and inappropriate.) Just hit "block" because just like in real life, you don't have to correspond to anyone you don't want to.  

2) You shouldn't have to convince anyone to be with you. No chemistry? It's fine. I feel like I have a lot to offer and not a lot of time or energy to chase people who don't agree. Keep putting yourself out there and eventually you'll get chemistry on both ends.

3) Don't be too nice. Ok this sounds counterintuitive but everyone out there is "a nice girl looking for a great guy who likes to be outdoors and cuddle while watching movies" or "a great guy who's tired of girls who play games" (plus that last one makes it sound like you have issues with the ladyfolk i.e. is a big red flag to me).

Under interests, I put such things as "avocados", "social media", and "dogs with short legs". Yes, it's great to be nice but if you are selling yourself on these sites, you need to stand out from the crowd. Just like your high school English teacher taught you, show don't tell. "On the weekends, you'll catch me biking around Acadia National Park because I do love those hills!" says a lot more to me then "I like biking." That said, don't go on and on. A couple paragraphs should get people interested; let them ask you the follow up questions.

4) Just try it. Did you know one out of every eight married couples met online? Trust me, the stigma against this is almost completely gone. There are so many people on these sites, why shouldn't you be one of them?

Oh and if you have some good online dating stories that went bad, at least you can contribute them to this fine website that my friend Mel and I are trying to start. One way or the other, you'll get something out of online dating! 

How To Get Me To Help You Out: Part Two

I tell you, one "Dear Sir" email and I am inspired to write two blog posts! (You can read Part I here.)

People seem to want me to do favors for them lately. I was noticing I've been receptive to some but not all people. It got me to thinking why.

There are clearly a few more ways you can get someone to help you out. In this post, I am going to use the example of Alexis. Now Alexis is pretty rocking in her own right. First of all she's cute and a snappy dresser. She's also into social media and blogging, has beagles, and lives in San Fran with her probably very cool husband. (Ok so I'm a little jealous but we're now internet friends so I can move beyond it.) Ok now on to finishing my thoughts from yesterday. (Oh and why am I starting at number 4? Because 1,2, and 3 were in yesterday's post)

4) Make it personal, and genuine. If you want me to care about you, why don't you care a little about me? Mention something I said or where I might have met you to help jog my memory. Being personal, especially on the internet, is completely disarming. Professional sales people are fake-personal all the time by using your name in conversation as they sell you something. But go a little bit beyond that and I am putty in your hands.

So onto my Alexis example. I could tell when she wrote me she had at least looked at my blog and was willing to engage in some conversation with me. Alexis wrote to me last year to ask for a review on the book Financial Infidelity. She was super polite about it, and wrote me this year to ask about reviewing another book for a different author.

Her emails, while short, felt engaging and personal. They weren't splattered with logos for the latest and greatest new website I should write about and the tone didn't feel overly pitch-y. It felt like a friend was writing me to see if I would be interested in a copy of a book. Yup, she's good, and I'm totally reviewing the book she sent me.

5) Be flattering, but only if you mean it. Yeah, fake flattery will blow up in your face (because people can smell that a mile away) but real flattery will get you everywhere, at least with me. Like my writing style? Appreciated reading about such-and-such topic? Let me know. My ears perk right up at that stuff.
 
6) Say thanks. If I did do something nice, follow up with a thank you e-mail. Or even a tweet. Just acknowledge the fact that I did you a favor. You noticed and appreciated what I did? I'm feeling even better about you and the possibility of granting future favors!

So yes, you too can get me (and most any other logical person) to do a favor for you if you follow this general guidelines. Has anyone used these "tricks" on you only to have you become putty in their hands?
 

How To Get Me To Help You Out: Part One

Yesterday, I got an e-mail about a possible blog sponsorship opportunity. This is not a huge deal; bloggers get these almost everyday, sort of like if you have an e-mail address, you get wire transfer offers from unknown Nigerian relations.

Anyway back to this link exchange offer. Top of the letter: Dear Sir...

Whoa there, cowboy! You didn't even click twice to get to my contact info and bio? Even just notice my girly headshot or the fact my name is Nicole? Delete.

Rewind to a month ago when one of my friends was having some kind of employment fiasco and telling me about it.

Friend: Well I told her to call the Department of Labor to verify it.

Me: So you told her to call a bottomless crazy huge government agency, essentially resigning her to an afternoon of being put on hold and transferred around the office?

Friend: Well, I have a contact there that I've been dealing with.

Me: Did you give her the direct extension and your contact's name?

Friend: (long pause) No...hmmm. I will now though!

Okay two unrelated situations but the same basic idea. Someone wanted someone else to do them a favor. The favor does not happen. Why?

We usually have to think that people are pretty reasonable and want to help you out. Here are a few things you can do to get someone to be more likely to do a favor for you:

1) Make it easy for me. What a letter of recommendation? Ask nicely. Give me a generous deadline and a copy of your resume. You want to show the person doing the favor that you are doing the legwork and allowing them to simply finish the job and get the credit. And who doesn't like that?

2) Do your homework. Know what you need for me, and what you have to give. I do not want to link to "three casino websites". Give me the URLs. Tell me if you want link or an ad on my site in return. Tell me how much you want to pay me (money conversations are awkward enough; I don't want to initiate it!)

3) It's not all about you. I gave a talk today to our local Rotary about promotion online and the cardinal sin of making it all about you. It really isn't and if you give someone that impression, good luck getting a worthwhile working relationship. Approach it in a way that's not just a favor to you but will help the other person out too.

Tomorrow, Part II and a fabulous example of someone who knows how to ask for a favor so well, I think she should do a class on it.

What The Heck Do My Friends Do All Day?

Do you know what your friends do for a living? I thought I did until approximately Tuesday night. I was on the phone with one of my best friends. She was talking about her job when I had an epiphany. I had no idea where Ally was working or even what she was doing.

Then I began to think about other friends and I realize I only have vague ideas of what most of them do during the majority of their waking hours. I see an experiment coming on...

I wanted to see how accurate I was so I e-mailed a few of my friends and asked them to send me 2-3 sentences about what they do for living meanwhile I wrote from what I thought their jobs were. Below is a comparison of the two:

Randy
I thought: Randy teaches English in Quebec and a few other odd jobs.
Actuality: "I teach small groups of Francophone business professionals English. I also do print design on the side and for cleaning and upkeeping the house I live in I get to live rent free!"
Conclusion: I had no idea about the print design gig, or that it paid for his room and board.
Accuracy level: 50%

Ally
I thought: Ally works for some company having to do with feminism and goes to grad school.
Actuality: "I work for a feminist nonprofit in Cambridge call The Center for New Words, which puts on free and low-cost events all over the city in support of women's voices. What this means basically is that I run discussion groups on relevant feminist topics with guest speakers, book groups, and author events. I put on a couple of events a week and spend the rest of my time doing promotion, finding space for events, contacting publishers and agents, collaborating with community partners, etc."
Conclusion: Ally does way more events and way less theoretical stuff then I thought.
Accuracy level: 30%

Hannah
I thought: Hannah works for the government on disease prevention programs in South and/or Central America.
Actuality: "My job is currently as a technical officer in the area of immunizations of the Pan American Health Organization (an international public health agency). What I do at my job really tends to vary but generally it is a lot of writing, reading and collecting data/following up on the status of projects. Because PAHO has many country offices in Latin America and the Caribbean, we interact a lot with them through email and on the phone, providing technical assistance for projects, providing them with data and responding to other requests. My boss is the focal point for several topics such as Vaccination Week in the Americas, a big initiative this month, and topics related to flu, yellow fever and hepatitis vaccine so what I work on generally relates to those topics."
Conclusion: I may never understand what Hannah does but that's why she went to Yale I guess!
Accuracy level: 60%

Hugh G*. (Hugh G. is a fake name and I'll let you fill in what he wanted for his fake last name to be yourselves)
I thought: Hugh G. makes maps with GIS software.
Actuality: "My primary responsibility is to orthorectify raw nadir aerial photography based on "triangular irregular network" hulls interpolated from stereocompiled topographic data.  Once orthorectified, I  merge the imagery into a composite photomosaic which is radiometrically balanced and parceled into a logical schema based on client specification. I also am responsible for converting stereocompiled cadastral data into a topologically correct geodatabase feature class, including FGDC-compliant metadata.
In other words: I correct aerial photos for terrain, and convert CAD data to GIS.
Or, even simpler: I make maps."
Conclusion: Hugh G. is a big nerd... and maybe when I describe my job I should throw in some jargon to sound smart.
Accuracy level: 80% (since I had no idea he worked directly with aerial photos)

Towanda* (Towanda wanted to see what anonymous name I'd come up with for her)
I thought: Towanda creates math curriculum and trains teachers in the latest math teaching methods at a textbook company.
Actuality: I'm a research assistant at a non-profit education research and development company. Basically, I work on mathematics curricula and on educating teachers. I'm an all-round handy-girl: I write, I edit, I do graphics layout (sort-of), I evaluate, and I send lots of emails. Oh, and I get to work with students and teachers about once a month.
Conculsion: Sorry to everyone else but this sounds like the best job of them all! (Maybe a tie with Randy)
Accuracy level: 80%

It was interesting to find out what some of my friends do all day, but mostly interesting how our jobs don't really seem to matter much in our social lives...you know, unless you work at a newspaper and everyone expects you to always know what's going on.

Oh and if you're my friend and want to tell me what  you do, I'd be happy to read it in the comments!

EBay: The Impossible To Spend Gift Certificate

One of my Christmas gifts was a $50 gift certificate for eBay. I've been trying to spend it for three months completely unsuccessfully. This is probably for a few reasons:

1) I refuse to spend over $50 (what the gift certificate is worth).

2) I have bid three different times on Scrabble tiles (future Too Cute Tuesday craft) and I'm always outbid at the last second. There's no "buy now" option for what I want. I think my idea for the tiles is not in my crafting destiny.

3) I successfully bought a pair of earrings a couple weeks ago and was sent the wrong item by the seller. They asked me to forward the wrong merchandise to the right person (priority, with delivery confirmation—which I totally did like the sucker I sometimes am). In turn, they sent me my earrings, some extra jewelry I don't even like, oh, and they gave me my money back.

So three weeks, 10 bids, and one pair of earrings later, I still have a $50 gift certificate for eBay.

I've resorted to looking for things like cosmetic type items that I use and obscure movies that like to own. It's just kind of funny how difficult spending "free" money has been in this case.

Of course, I could've sold this gift certificate from online (like, um, on eBay or any number of other websites) or I could have bought gifts for people. But I really wanted to be selfish on eBay. I guess I still have my chance! Any ideas?

Image from: http://ebaystrategies.blogs.com

Cell Phone Etiquette

The third post of my Holy Technology! series this week only.

So I once went on a date with a guy a few years ago and he stuck his cell phone on the table... with it still being on. It was like I was on a date with both of them. Yikes.

It was in part this need of constantly being connected (at least some people) that made me hold out on getting a cell phone for so long. Then I sat next to a guy on the plane to Vegas last year and half of our 5 hours of conversation was on the subject of cell phones and what they meant to our society. He convinced me I was being an old fashioned ninny (not his words) and I finally broke down and got one.

I now love to send little text messages to my friends and calling them in spare moments when I know they're free too. But may I put a few rules out there that I think everyone should follow?

1) Turn off your cell phone whenever you want to give your undivided attention to someone or something, whether it is your date or the meeting you are attending.

2) Give anyone who acts annoyed about not being able to reach you instantly a reality check.

3) If you have to have a more then two minute conversation, please duck somewhere private. Oh, and not the bathroom.

4) Chuck out all these rules if you are, say, an emergency room doctor or waiting for an organ donation.

Please share any additional personal rules you have or even funny situations you've experienced related to cell phone manners (or lack thereof).

Way more rules about cell phones to forward to clueless friends...

How Friendly Do You Get Online?

The second post of my Holy Technology! series this week only.

I'm always happy when I hear from far-flung friends and they say that visiting my blog is like talking to me. They feel they are able to keep up with my life through it, which is also really nice to hear. I like that my blog is something that people who know me or don't know me can enjoy and that it does seem really personal. You'd think my life is quite an open book right? Well, not exactly.

Here are some things I never write about, which you may or may not have noticed before:

1) My job. Sure I work at a newspaper website but I bet you would be hard pressed to think of anything else you know about it. Interactions with coworkers, clients, and even my feelings about my job are all privately held, and rightly so. The same goes for my online business.

2) My friends. All friends and photos of friends on this blog are used with their permission only. I respect people's right to privacy and just because I live a public life doesn't make my friend's lives automatically public. This is why sometimes only initials are mentioned.

3) My romantic life. Details about my relationships are my business only. I did mention moving out of my boyfriend's house six months ago because that really shifted my personal finances (which is the general subject of this blog). As a single person maintaining a professional online presence, I am barely comfortable discussing this subject with my friends and family, let alone the world.

4) Negativity. Other then an occasional post last year about dealing with death (which I still struggle with), you don't hear about my personal problems on this blog. We all have issues to deal with and those are for conversations with friends or a paid shrink.

That said, I have used this blog to talk a bit about death and mental health because I think our culture is so insular about both these subjects. I hope I have shown that dealing with death is an ongoing process and that perfectly sane people can seek mental help.

5) The Grandmother-Boss Rule. Anything I'm not sure of posting, I think of my grandmother and my boss reading it. If it passes both tests, I put it online.

So while my communication style is open, there are some things that I draw the line at talking about.
 
What lines do you draw?

Battling The Gray Area

Ahhh! I'm Aging!

It is something about our company bathroom's combination of natural and fluorescent lighting... okay, scratch that. It's something about the way I look in any light, or more specifically how a certain part of me looks.

My gray hair is really starting to come in and it's kind of scary.

Genetically it was bound to happen. My father was salt-and-pepper on his mid-20s. I was lucky to have held out this long, as in two months shy of the big 2-8. (Related but unrelated, my boss found an article about gray hair being a build up of hydrogen peroxide. Now what can I do about that?!?)

Whether chemical or genetic, I'm not quite ready to let it all grow out yet. I'm looking at some options, some of which I've tried:

Tried: Professional highlights(beauty school $10-$15, everywhere else $40 plus)
Highlights seem to have the added benefit of changing the chemistry of gray hair by making it lie flatter. But unless I take an afternoon off every 6 to 8 weeks to go to beauty school half an hour away, I cannot afford to maintain them.

Tried: Glaze ($8-$10)
Glaze is an over-the-counter method to tint and deep condition your hair. It works alright but it washes out, is a little messy to apply, it takes at least three minutes to soak into your hair whenever you use it (ie each time you shampoo). If I don't rinse off the walls of the shower well, it looks like I murdered someone in there when I'm done. Coverage is light to moderate at best.

Tried, though not recently: Boxed haircolor (around $10)
Most people I know in my situation just end up dying their hair. I personally never trust myself to pick out the correct color; I usually instead end up picking the woman on the box that I want most to look like. A more permanent solution than glaze but less maintenance than professional highlights.

Not tried: Henna (around $4)
According to the Internet, I can use henna to cover gray. It seems nice and natural but I found one article that said it would take up to 6 hours(?!). Now that's dedicated vanity!

Do I have other options here folks? Clearly I'd like something inexpensive that won't ruin my hair, bonus if it isn't terrible on the environment. Thanks for any help you can give!

Ask And You Shall Recieve

I had taken over the french press in our company breakroom after the employee who owned it left. I made my coffee many days a week and it was a happy frugal little ritual.

Last week, it broke. Ugh.

I looked at a few local discount stores (which seemed to have everything but a french press) and was about to buy a new one at the fancy kitchen store down the street when I went into the breakroom to get my lunch.

"Did you find a french press yet?" one of my coworkers asked.

"Nope, but I'm going to go get one today!" I said. Then someone else piped in.

"Oh, I have an extra one if you want it. I'll bring it by, I never use it anyway!"

Then that same day, my friend G was mentioning how she needed a phone and asked a friend of hers if he had an extra one. And he did.

So twice in less then 8 hours, the belief  "ask and you shall recieve" was proven. Maybe when we need something we should all ask around first, not just on Craigslist but among family, friends, and colleagues. And now we live in a society where it's becoming socially acceptable to do that!

Have you asked for something recently and actually got it? Do share!

What I Learned From An Eel Almost Falling On My Car

Talk about random, huh?

Here's the story: Picture it: Friday morning, 9 am on a clear January day in coastal Maine. An eel falls from the sky onto a parking lot. An eagle had fished it out of the nearby river and probably dropped it when it realized the disgustingness of its catch. While the eel looks a little beat up from its ginormous fall, it is quite miraculously still alive.

So one of my coworkers goes to get a box to contain it and brings him (her? it?) to the river. The moment of release, he hears a stern “What do you think you’re doing?” and it’s a game warden. That's right downtown at 9 am and there is a game warden. He and my coworker come to an understanding of what’s happening and the eel takes a few seconds to swim off but eventually does.

When I had learned that all this happened within about two feet of my car, I begin picturing a fictious situation involving an awkward conversation with an insurance agent and an eel shaped dent in my hood. But I got to thinking a little more about it and in typical Nicole style tried to glean some sort of symbolism:

1. Sometimes you're just doing your thing then Bam! you're 100 feet in the air in the claws of an eagle. Life throws this kind of thing at you so it's best not to take it too personally.

2. When all seems hopeless, try wriggling. You can get out of most situations, sometimes though you have to be a little flexible or unconventional.

3. Just because you fall, doesn't mean it's over. There are so many nice people in the world who would love to scrape you off the pavement and take you back home (you know, as long as you don't bite them). I'm sure you've found at least once in your life that you're more resilent then you ever realized.

4. Choose your parking spots carefully. (Sorry couldn't resist that one)

Yes, this doesn't have much to do with personal finance but, come on, how often does this happen?

Thank God For Internet Troubleshooting

So Close And Yet So Far From Actually Being Able To Use My Wii

Do you ever have what you think is going to be a little project turn into a big ol' hassle? That's where I'm at!

 I bought a really nice flat panel computer a few weeks ago in part because it could serve as both my television and my computer (having two seperate pieces of technology in a small room just seemed ridiculous not to mention more expensive).

Internet television with my new toy has been no problem; people have actually been commenting on the size of my, ahem, screen. The problem is the Wii, more specifically the remote.

My super-smart boss told me that based on the specs, I would need a modulator (about $20) and a coaxial cable to plug from the modulator to the back of my computer (it has a cable hookup). This would convert the three pronged Wii plugin into something my computer could read. Fair enough. I bought one Friday and hooked it all up, turned on the television part of my computer, and nothing. Hmph.

Monday, I read all about the media center and learned how to *gasp* change channels on my television. Moving to channel three, the little Wii screen came on my computer screen and I clapped my little hands together.

Yesterday was spent trying to figure out issues with the Wiimote. Everything I could find on the online forums was about trying to get your computer to detect the remote, period. My computer is detecting it (it has Bluetooth capabilities, and if yours doesn't you can buy some dongle for it for $5 apparently). My remote is just highly inaccurate, as in I can't even click on icons. I just spent 20 minutes trying to get into Wii Fit and all I was able to do is select the Wii Fit game and my Mii.

I feel like I'm ridiculously shaky with it and I found a way to adjust the settings according to the directions, three normal clicks away. I know getting the cursor to hover over the right place and be able to click on it three different times may be a rest-of-the-night endeavor so I'm going to drag Operation Wii Working into another day.

Here is the most helpful link I found so far, Lifehacker, in case you are struggling with some technology problem like this. It's a great blog with useful explanations. I may have to start reading it more regularly to help get nerdier.

In the meantime, I'm at a loss. Does anyone have any good technology troubleshooting blogs, websites, forums, etc. they find consistently helpful? Resorting to reading the directions tonight was decidedly less so and web searches are not helping. (And if this is something stupid and you know the answer, let me know.)

Technology rocks but sometimes it just makes me want to throw things!

Shameless Promotion: The Zonked Sunday Night Edition

My Saturdays have become full in the last few weeks, which is good from the standpoint that I am making more money and in general growing my little business. On the other hand, by Sunday I am completely exhausted and ready for my day of rest.

And if you're wondering why the heck bloggers like myself do lists of cool links about once a weekish, check this out. It pretty much explains the logic, and I did write it so I think it's good!

At Breaking Even

This week, I participated in the Carnival of Personal Finance hosted by CleverDude. (And if you are wondering what the heck carnivals are check out this post.)

Some Great Links

For those of you like me who need their protein, it's getting harder to find cheap sources isn't it? (Not to mention that eating a lot of meat is not good for our planet either.) Enter imitation crab meat, which you can actually do a ton with. (via Wisebread)

Hard times give people new insights. Blunt Money lets us in a little on her personal life and reminds us that in life's difficulties are opportunities. At least, I hope so...

Could you live without spending any money for a year? This guy is trying to. I'm not hardcore thrifty enough to ever try anything like this but it's always interesting to live vicariously through people who are. (from Give Me Back My Five Bucks)

On the same note, these people are eating on $1 a day. (from Portland Psst!)

And I feel let in on a big secret: how you know Sam's Club pricing is as low as it'll go. And it's not even complicated or hard to remember. (from Spending Less 101)

This woman is living one of those crazy exciting lives those with dogs and cherished kitchen gadgets can only dream of (that would be me folks). I'd like to travel more but could I ever travel this much? The adventures and costs of full time travel. (from Wisebread)

Free Stuff

Suze Orman's latest book- Oprah's queen of personal finance. I'm not a huge fan (something about her I can't quite put my finger on) but, hey, if it'll help you make better financial decisions in 2009, that's great? (from BudgetsAreSexy)

Vowed to manage your money better in the new year? Quicken is now free but so is Mint.com. (from Mrs. Micah)

Ordering your credit reports yearly is a good idea, and free. And how to do it online. (from CleverDude)

Weight loss podcasts that could keep you motivated. My fat-looking Wii will only do so much for that I suppose! (from No Credit Needed)

Captain Obvious Links
Common sense, sure, but some links to back up the statements.

Library use is going up.

United States living standards still among best in the world.

Walking like a penguin will help you walk on ice. (Check out the animation...hilarious!)

Greyhound has lowered their fares to get people to travel.

People who are in jail for embezelling will try to get rid of anything they have of worth rather then have it get taken by the government.

Happy Sunday! And if you have any good links, feel free to let me know about them. I'm always on the lookout!

Locked Out, or Things I'm Thankful For

I wasn't sure if I'd ever blog about this because it's a slightly unflattering incident but it illustrates well how I'm feeling this Thanksgiving Day. Here goes.

Picture this: Monday morning, the beginning of a crisp day in a small town in Maine...

Sadie's outside lead had got caught on something (the stairs, her foot, something) and she was barking because she was stuck. (When you have a dog, you can just tell why they're barking, kind of odd...) Anyway, I went outside to go free her when, what must've been the difference in air temperature outside and inside, the door slammed shut. I was locked out, for the first time since college.

It was 7 AM, I was in my pajamas, and it was less than 20° outside. I walked (thank God I had slippers on) to the nearby open gas station and asked to use the phone. Since I've just moved here recently I know about 10 people who live here and of course, I saw most of them that morning. But they were perfectly friendly and talked to me like I wasn't wearing my pajamas and my crazy, post-sleep hairdo.

"How are you Nicole?"
"I could be better. I just got locked out my apartment."
"Oh no! Is Paul coming down?" (Everyone also knows my landlord.)

Paul said he be along as soon as he could. I called work to let them know I was going to be a little late. "I thought you were telling me that it's impossible to lock yourself out of your apartment?" Said my coworker. I had told her that earlier in the week, I remembered. But not the time to remind me.

I saw a pick-up pull into the parking lot that shares my driveway and I walked really fast from the gas station. (Apparently embarrassment is a great warmer up the soul because throughout this whole thing, I do not remember being cold.) It turns out it wasn't my landlord but one of my neighbors. At first he probably thought I was having a cigarette outside but when he saw how cranky I probably looked at how desperately my dog wanted to go inside, he figured it out and offered me to come in and warm-up. I grabbed Sadie's leash and we stood in his doorway.

And that's how I met my neighbors. It turns out really nice and interesting and they like Sadie too, which is always a plus.

My landlord arrived twenty minutes later, a big smile on his face. "I hope you weren't waiting too long!" He said as he opened my door. While he was there, he showed me how to work my fireplace. Turns out it was open, causing me to lose heat. Good to know!

I quickly got dressed and headed to work, where everyone I had heard about my ordeal. The same thing the same morning (the pajama lock-out due to a dog) had even happened to one of the managers!

I was thinking about not writing for my lockout because it makes me look kind of stupid. But when I realize on this Thanksgiving day is that everyone that was involved that day from the cashier at the gas station to my boss at work was very understanding and compassionate. It made me realize how nice people are, which is probably kind of silly thing to realize that one that all of us need to remember about a little bit more often. The way hope you don't have to get locked outside to do it.

This very morning, I was taking out the trash when the door slammed behind me. That's right, locked out again. (I haven't had time to spare key made up yet.) The same girl was working at the gas station. "Oh, you need the phone, don't you?" She said, not all annoyed but definitely noticing the pajamas again. And everyone involved was great about the whole thing, again. I guess sometimes you have to learn a lesson twice.

So Happy Thanksgiving to you, and yes, I'm getting a spare key first thing tomorrow morning.

Coping With Emergencies

I'm Kelly and I write Almost Frugal, a blog about frugality and personal finance in France. Nicole and I found each other through the French speaking community (although we're both Americans) and I'm happy to be guest posting for her, although not for why she needs a guest post!

Note from Nicole: I've asked a couple of my favorite bloggers to guest post while I'm gone to keep my blog going for a few days. Right after sending out an email to my blogger friends about my wrist, Sean was admitted into the hospital. He had 'emergency' surgery and is doing fine but he'll be in the hospital for a little while. Because people have stepped in to help, Breaking Even has kept going and I've spent the time in the hopsital with Sean without giving the blog a second thought. Thanks for continuing to read. I'll be back soon.

Life has a way of throwing curve balls at you, doesn't it? One day you're trucking along nicely, minding your own business and the next day BOOM. Your car dies, or your basement floods, or your wrist starts hurting after too much time spent pecking at the keyboard.

We've all heard the expression "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade" and it sounds kind of trite to be sure. But if you think about it, successfully coping with an emergency does depend on making a pitcher of ice-cold lemonade instead of complaining (ahem) bitterly about the bushel of lemons that just fell into your lap. Here are three rules that can help you get over the hump.

Rule number one: Prepare yourself. We all know that emergencies happen, why deny it? So cover yourself in advance. Get health insurance, car insurance, house or rental insurance. Leave yourself more than enough time to get to the airport. When packing for a trip, split your clothes between two suitcases, so that if you lose one you won't be knicker-less until they find it. When hiking in the mountains (or even in centre ville) carry a snack, a bottle of water, and a map. Trust me on this one.

Rule number two: Surround yourself. Create a network that can step in to help when you need it. Nicole didn't just randomly write to other bloggers asking for help, she wrote to people with whom she had already cultivated a relationship. Remember the first rule of networking "First you give, then you receive, then you give back again". There is no doubt in my mind that if I need to ask Nicole a favor, she'll be more than willing to reciprocate. Neither my husband nor I are talented do-it-yourself-ers but we have a neighbor who's a genius at anything manual. He comes and helps us out with stuff, and I feed him dinner whenever possible. I know that I could ask him to help us with just about any sort of DIY emergency and he'd be happy to oblige, because we've created a network of sorts.

Rule number three: Relax yourself. Don't stress, try not to worry and give yourself time to heal. After all, in the great majority of cases the present emergency is not the end of the world. Not to mention that if it is, you've got bigger things to worry about! Take the time to relax and let yourself heal, or use that extra hour at the airport to sit back and read the magazine you have with you (brought from your subscription at home, of course). And getting lost in a new city can lead you to discover treasures you might never have found otherwise. Getting lost in the woods is another story, of course!

Thanks to rules number one, two and three, emergencies don't have to be catastrophic. Just follow the rules now- you may thank me for it later.

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Flapping In The Breeze

And You Thought You Had A Rough Weekend!

You know when you know something bad is about to happen about a millisecond before it does but you are powerless to stop it? See the picture below? That was my Saturday night.

Allow me to explain. It's dinnertime-ish, and I'm helping a friend of Ally's (I'll call her "G") move a desk since I have a car (she doesn't) and am visiting Boston for the weekend. We loaded the desk into the car and I went to the front seat to grab something. I looked up to see G closing the trunk door. I wanted to say "Nooooo!" but it's too late. The desk, not quite into the car enough, smashed out my back window.

Being that it was Saturday night, there was no way I could get it fixed. There was also the added problem of leaving it parked on the streets of Boston in that state. So we dealt.

I sent two people to get electrical tape and clearish plastic at the hardware store while I brought the desk to the apartment with G. G and I cleaned the glass out of the car as much as we could (wearing thick gloves).  Upon our return, Ally and company taped up the back window (painter's tape = won't ruin your paint job). I decided I should head back to Maine, not wanting someone to vandalize my car (or worse) that night. I packed a quick bag and headed north.

The flapping of plastic was a little annoying and my gas mileage got cut substantially by the drag from the sheet of plastic. The good news is the rain held (as did the plastic) for the entire trip. I pulled into my driveway at 1:30 a.m.

There are a few things that I think that made this not the most annoying thing ever:

1) G apologized but didn't repeat the apology over and over. I tend to do apologize obsessively and annoyingly, so that fact that G did one sincere apology and moved on to helping solve the problem was helpful.

2) G borrowed a phone book and proceeded to call companies herself. This was much appreciated.

3) The group attempted to think of solutions for the car (back it into a driveway, park it in a garage) but did not attempt to sway my decision to leave town once I had made it. As a result, I didn't feel guilty but did appreciate that they gave the problem some thought.

4) G offered to pay for the damage. It was not only helpful but the right thing to do.

5) The radio volume was able to be cranked up pretty high.

6) The temperature did not get below 57 degrees F, making me warm enough in the car.

7) While I couldn't see out the back window, I could hear cars coming.

8) Driving with a big sheet of plastic covering your back window makes driving in Boston with a normally functioning car seem like a piece of cake.

So my car looks a little ghetto in the driveway but it could have been much worse. Tomorrow (hopefully) it'll get fixed. Another exciting weekend in my life, hope yours was also but in a more fun way!

Some Updates On Projects

Project: The Zen And Art On Coupon Clipping
Time Elapsed: Two Weeks

So far, I'm a little discouraged on this project. I find that I haven't been able to use a lot of the coupons I've clipped. Often, it seems the store brand still beats my name brand coupon. My last shopping trip I saved...$2.38 with coupons. My Grocery Game savings the same trip were around $10, and I don't really have to do anything for that except print off the list and pay $5 a month. (and hey, saving me $10 in an average week means that it pays for itself and then some for sure). I'll keep clipping coupons though and give this a solid month to trial to see if it's worth my time

The one exception to coupon discouragement is the $8 Hills Science Diet Dogfood I got from Spending Less 101. That website points you to coupons you can get online. I waited until the food was on sale ($5 off this week) and I saved $14 on my finicky dog's healthy food: $17 of food will now last at least two months for her.

Project: How To Get Rid Of Carpet Odors
Time Elapsed: Two months

Thanks to everyone who participated in this, including Debt Free Revolution and Bouncing Betty who suggested Odoban from Home Depot. As the daughter of a small hardware store owner, I hate HD but I went to get this product. $8 and only about 1/8 of the bottle later, smell is gone. Completely.

Project: Blogroll Update
Time Elapsed: Too Long!

I finally updated my blogroll with new (well, not so much new as new to me) blogs that I read all the time.

Personal finance-y blogs: Being Frugal, Cheap Healthy Good, Debt Free Revolution, Girls Just Wanna Have Funds, My Small Cents, Northern Cheapskate, Spending Less 101, and The Baglady.

Other great blogs: Intelligent Travel, Shorpy, Hoarded Ordinaries, and Satellite Sisters.

If I haven't added your blog or website yet and I clearly read it and comment on it all the time, let me know!

There I got all those updates done like I've been meaning to! Whew! Now anxiously awaiting five o'clock for the weekend to start... Happy Friday!

Making A Web Page 101

Remember a few days ago when I got really excited about buying my very own domain name and how it took me an hour to figure out how to make Typepad point to my new address. The good news I did it right. The bad news? Well, sometimes I'm not the brightest bulb in the pack.

Me: "So I made my blog point to my new domain name but nothing is happening. Could I have done it wrong?"

Person I work with: "Well, did you buy a hosting package?"

Me: Silent.

So you can have a domain name all you want but if you have no hosting, nothing will happen. Hmph. I actually knew that. Not ready to invest in hosting at the moment so I guess I'll just own a domain name for now. Just thought I'd follow up on my earlier post so you wouldn't be wondering what was happening. Excitement slightly tempered but not entirely gone. 

Don't Be Blinded By The Shiny Christmas Decorations...Or Target Deals

I know that Jesus is supposed to be the reason for the season but unless you haven't walked into a store in the last two weeks, it's hard not to at least spend some time thinking about the commercial crap. I walked into Target tonight and got swept up for several moments into wondering why I didn't have a basket of pinecones by the door or sleigh bells just in case. Oh, that silver reindeer ornament is so classic! Then I mentally slapped myself and focused on the mission at hand.

Sean and I bought wreaths this weekend. We didn't get a tree but I couldn't resist the urge to get a wreath for each door. They smell fresh and pine-y and will last at least a couple months. To go with these wreaths, I needed two over-the-door hooks (weath hangers for lack of a better term) and two red bows. I bought the items and a couple wrapping aids (bows, tags) and went to the cash. I was $15 over what I was expecting but wanted to leave so bad, I figured that I just couldn't add. I used my gift card (the reason I had went there in the first place was to use the card before I lost it) and I paid the $15 over in cash.

I got home and unpacked my bag. One of my bows was a thrifty 99 cents, the other... $19.99! What the heck? How could three pieces of folded ribbon cost what a dinner out costs? They were right next to each other on the rack. I am posting a photo below of both ribbons below. Can you pick out the ridiculously overpriced bow?

Moral of this story: don't be blinded by all the red and flashing lights. Just because it's in the seasonal/bargain rack/clearance section doesn't mean the item should be there. Check the prices of each item and if things aren't coming out right numberswise when you check out, look at your reciept before driving over half an hour away. Oh and Target, much less impressed than I once was.

Here's hoping someone will learn from my mistake. Also, I'm keeping these darn ribbons for the next five years at least. Might as well do a year by year comparison as to how they hold up at the very least...Merry Freakin' Christmas!